


maddening

by macbethattempest



Series: we are children of emotion [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hate, Love, Vision's world, thought process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macbethattempest/pseuds/macbethattempest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the world was maddening<br/>the heart was maddening<br/>the mind was maddening</p>
            </blockquote>





	maddening

**Author's Note:**

> Back to free verse. This work has a very consistent stature which took me some time to build. 
> 
> As always, any and all comments are welcome.

**_The world was maddening._ **

It was a cornucopia of humans making stupid choices, led by their hearts and by their emotions, hurting themselves, hurting others, and being a certain kind of _naive_ , their cunning containing an innocence too.

_Vision saw it all._

He saw the stupid choices, he saw the broken hearts and hurt emotions, he saw the naivety and _as he was born, he scoffed._

He scoffed at the idea of emotions being the driving force behind actions.

He scoffed at the naivety of humans, their master plans that hung by a thread and the foolish reasons and concoctions they devised to satisfy themselves.

He scoffed at the idea of human love and hate making choices and not the human mind.

He scoffed at the dissonance in the world: the sheer opposite nature of things.

Vision saw the world in _blacks_ and _whites_ ,

in the wrong and rights,

in what was not and what was,

in reason and emotion.

\-------

_**The heart was maddening.** _

It was this beating force of life, in him and in her. Except his was hers.

_Vision felt it all._

He felt the gentle fluttering of his heart, he felt the thundering beat in his ears, he felt the intense need to protect, he felt the savage lust and _as he lived, he revelled._

He revelled in the burn that spread through his chest whenever he saw her with another.

He revelled in the feeling of hearing her heart beat in tandem with his.

He revelled in the intense need he felt to preserve, to protect her, from the world, from him, from herself.

He revelled in the acute lust that ran unadulterated in his veins when he saw a sliver of her waist, or he touched the delicate nape of her neck or his body brushed hers.

He revelled in the feeling of his breath speeding when she smiled.

Vision felt the world in _blues_ and _reds_ and _greens_ ,

in feeling and in indifference,

in what was felt and what was not,

in how emotion affected reason.

\---------

_**The mind was maddening.** _

It was a confused mass of everything from wood to metal, from logical to illogical, from real to unreal.

_Vision understood it all._

He understood how the mind concocted schemes of utter idiocy, he understood how it hung to memories, he understood how it made difficult choices even more difficult, he understood as it attached meaning to things and _as Vision survived, he loathed._

He loathed how every single object reminded him of her; the table where they'd played chess, the sheets which they had lain in, tangled, the vanity where she'd put heavy kohl in her eyes every day.

He loathed how he could never stop himself from making up excuses to visit her, and then denying himself the privilege.

He loathed how he could remember every single look he'd given him, her face twisted in fury, her face glowing with happiness, her face beautiful with lust, her face devastated with betrayal as she watched him let her go.

He loathed how his mind gave him enough ways to leave it all behind and escape.

Vision understood the _grey_ in the world,

the long lying chasm between living and surviving,

the power of feelings,

how reason and emotion were two sides of the same coin.

 

 


End file.
